10 Funny Facebook Statuses

_______the world is a dangerous place...2 minutes ago I punched a guy for no reason (funny status about world)
_______When I die Please carve the word Modest on my statue... (funny modest status)
_______Rather than apologise to people I insult or offend, I tend to drop a large, heavy iron box, complete with a door and a combination lock, on to their heads from a height. Because, apparently, better safe than sorry.  (funny stupid status)
_______If someone offers you drugs, just say no .... . and keep saying no. That way you'll get the price right down...  (funny drug status)
_______Guys, just because you're "mechanically inclined" doesn't mean you know how to use your tool... (funny status about guys)
_______Don't think of me as a peeping tom. Its more like security you don't have to pay for... (funny stalking status)
_______I hate when people say You know what I mean. I want to poke them in the eye with a stick. You know what I mean?  (funny hate status)
_______Did you ever have one of those days where you just want to punch someone in the face? Well punching someone in the face makes it all better
_______This government is always whining about Energy Saving.... last night I tried saving some by turning off my lights... I ran over a pedestrian  (funny status about govt)
funny status
_______I call bullsh!t on you McDonald's...I ate 4 of these damn happy meals and I'm still just as sad. (funny status about McDonald's)
_______SO I saw the new iPhone 5 today. You're telling me you're upgrading from the iPhone 4 just for an extra inch?? I hope your girlfriend doesn't think the same way. ;)  (funny status about iPhone)

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