_______My life has become a lot more easier............. since I have given up all hope of becoming anything good in life! (funny hope life status)
_______I can fart the song "Feelings". See I care... (funny feelings status)
_______My new hobby is hugging Walmart greeters and softly whispering in their ears, "Thank you for your service." (funny Walmart statu)
_______The lmao weight loss plan doesn't seem to be working
_______My husband says I'm too impulsive. What the f**k does he know? He only met me yesterday...
_______Someone told me to go hard or go home, but I was only sitting and didn't want to go home, so I sat harder than I've ever sat in my life... (funny life status)
_______They told me to come here and write something funny, so I'm gonna post my bank account balance: -$1.09 (funny bank account status)
_______A cop pulled into the same convenience store I was at and left his car running, while he ran in. Knowing it was a bad part of town, I reached in and locked it for him.
_______Any time I'm at work and I receive an "Out of Office" automated reply from someone, I always get a little jealous of that person. (funny jealousy status)