Bunch of Short Funny Jokes


_____if your hotness caused global warming.. I am the reasoning for The Big Bang..!!!
            (joke about global warming, Big Bang Jokes)




_____While performing magic I asked a woman what her favorite card is,
 her reply, "Ummmm...a credit card?!!?"
            (jokes about women and credit cards)




_____‎‎''Hi, I'd like a dog please''
 ''male or female?'' 
   B!tch, please.
     (B!tch Please Jokes)


short funny joke

_____This hot girl at work is flirting with me like crazy but I'm married.
 Do I do the right thing...   or do I tell her I'm married?
            (joke about hot girls, Marriage jokes)




_____Mondays are crap. 
Tuesdays are too. 
Oh Dear Weekend, How I miss you.
           (short jokes about Mondays)




_____It's so beautiful outside. I just went out and stared at a junebug for like 20 minutes......
Then I yelled ,
"ITS ONLY MARCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ALREADY!"
 I hope I didn't make it cry.
           (Funny March Jokes)




_____My wife says I'm too immature and that I never listen to her. . . 
Maybe that's what she say still, I couldn't hear so well with me watching pokemon 13 on cartoon network
             (Funny Wife Jokes)




_____I am so angry. I was hired as a Walmart greeter last week; not only have they fired me they have refused to pay me AND reimburse me for the mileage that I have racked up driving around the country saying, 
"Saying Hello to ALL the Walmarts..
            (Funny Walmart Jokes)



_____When someone is leaving and they say,
 "I gotta run!"
 I always reply with, 
"Aww, cuz you're fat, huh?"
 Then we have a good laugh... unless they're fat.
            (Joke about Being Fat)




_____Well, I'm off to the eye doctor. I know there's a joke in here somewhere... I just can't see it.
           (short jokes about Doctors)




_____So as I went to school and got in class this morning i started to take notes.....when.........my high school teacher surprisingly looked at me at said 
"Jazz what the hell are you doing here, didn't you graduate over 10 years ago...and go put on some pants u sick bastard"
            (High School Jokes, College Humor Jokes)




______Her: Can we talk?
 Me: Both of us? Or do you talk and I look like I'm paying attention? 
 Her: I hate you.
 Me: Let's talk about that.
             (Shortest Hilarious Joke)




_____Bahahaha - represents a laugh you tried to suppress
 Mawhawhaw - represents a diabolical laugh
 He he he - represents a mischievous laugh
 Ha Ha Ha - represents s hearty laugh
 Tee hee- don't use this unless you are an elderly lady
 hahahahahaha - machine gun laugh (obnoxious)  Learn to use the correct laugh.
              (Laugh Jokes)




______i am in the hospital.. can u please come with 12 beers.. coz the waiting area is boring and am too lazy to get a few by myself..!!  
also, the security took away my weed.. 
              (Weed Jokes)




______WIFE: HEY, BABE ITS RAINING.
 ME: SO WHAT ?. THE F**K YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT ?.
              (Jokes about Raining)




_____I parked my car in a disabled parking space today and a security guy shouted 
"Hey you! what's your disability?" 
I said..
"Tourettes! Now fugg off from here you piece of sh!tt!"
            (Funny Parking Jokes)




_____Finally got around to checking my e-mails from last week,and one was an ad which said "Earn money,call me",
so I called the number,and it said 
"Get a job you f**kin bum"
            (funny Joke about Junk Email and Work)




_____She said 
" where have u been all my life "
 over in the bushes with binoculars was probably not the answer she was expecting
            (Jokes about Stalkers and Stalking)



_____It hurts my feelings when no one responds to my posts. 
What do I have to do, come up with a good one?



_____My math teacher admitted to growing up on coke.  It's ok, I like Pepsi. :)
           (Joke about Coke and Pepsi)




_____ I walked into work wearing one white and one black shoe this morning....
the boss said I looked ridiculous and should go get another pair......
he went livid when I told him I only had two pair of shoes n the ones at home were also black and white
            (joke about Boss)



_____Son: Mom, can I use the Internet now.
 Mom: No, you have to wait, whose paying for this anyway?
 Son: You...
 Mom: No, the neighbors! But I put a lot of hard work in to hacking their internet service, so you just have to wait.
           (Internet Jokes)