_______This
year has taught me that to become very successful in the music industry you
only need to be fat, korean and have your own dance moves. (funny music status)
_______As Men I think we
should unite and stand up for this injustice... When they advertise toothpaste
they show teeth, when they advertise shampoo the show hair, makeup they show
face, BUT when they advertise tampons(sanitar pads) they do not show anything...
The suspense is UNFAIR... (hilarious status)
_______If winding up
every egg timer and alarm clock in Red Dot is wrong I don't ever wanna be
right...
_______I wanted to tell
my leper neighbor what I really thought of him.....but I was afraid he would
just go to pieces.... (funny status about neighbor)
_______"Let me
introduce you to the next big thing" - an insensitive meeting coordinator
at Overeaters Anonymous (hilarious status)
_______I really hope
that the first thing I hear on the 21st isn't an Adele song (funny status about
Adele)
_______I bet Kevin Bacon
refers to his junk as bacon bits
_______It's not illegal
to shoot pigs with birds out of a slingshot... as long as you make them angry
first. (funny angry pigs status)
_______I've never had
any professional dance training... but I can strap myself to the ceiling fan
and spin around on the highest setting for like 20 minutes. (funny dance
status)
_______Long term effects
of drug use- I cant remember what I did a month ago. Short term effects- I can't
remember what I just said the long term effects are (funny drugs status)
_______Since hops and
barley are technically plants that makes me a herbivore not an alcoholic (funny
alcoholic status)
_______I must be getting old because the list
of things that annoy me or piss me off seems to be getting longer every day...
(funny pissed status)
_______I am trying to
think of something special to get my wife for Christmas but it is really rare
because she already has me... (funny status for Christmas)
_______If you microwave a
burrito for 1 minute it is still frozen in the center. If you cook the next one
for 1 minute and 10 seconds you get third degree burns in your mouth. Well
played microwave, well played (funny microwave status)
________The nice thing
about being an a**hole is no one asks you to do them a favor... (funny annoying
status)
________It's still not too
late to send me a huge donation to secure your place in Heaven before the world
ends.... (funny end of the world status)
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