17 Funny Quotes

funny quote saying

____Every woman needs a guy to listen to her problems.. and it's usually her gay friend. (funny gay quote, funny woman quote)
_____Nothing says 'my job sucks' more than being a door-to-door salesman who sells doors. (funny quote, funny status, top funny quote)
_____Instead of working hard, I like to make hard things work. just saying... (top funny quote, best funny quote, stupid quote)
_____If your tormented by insecurities being my friend is strongly ill advised. (best funny quote, top funny quote, awesome funny quote)
_____If I left you out in traffic, it's either because I'm feeling generous, or someone saw me forcing you into my van. (funny quote, funny status , funny joke)
_____Obviously he's a good businessman, his face is advertised on a bus bench. (funny business quote, top funny quote)
_____I am currently attempting to enjoy the simpler aspects of life because the complexities of life are too confusing to contend with and quite frankly they suck balls. (funny life quote, top funny quote)
_____Any time some one ask me if I have a minute to spare I always sigh and look back at my phone. (top funny quote, hilarious quote)
_____I went to my Girl and gave her flowers and a diamond ring and she had the nerve to tell me "who are you?" (funny love quote, top funny quote, best funny status)
_____Learning the difference between an exotic dancer and an erotic dancer could save you from getting eaten by a python. (funny quote, funny dancer quote, funny status)
_____From now on I will never let my heart make decisions for me, I'm going to let my twisted mind run this show! (funny heart quote, top funny quote, best funny quote)
_____I accidentally said “LOL” today. I think I deserve to be shot. (funny lol quote, best funny quote)
_____One of my teachers told me "repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition" was the best way to learn. I had to have her repeat that for me. (funny teacher quote,top funny quote)
_____I'm going to give cyanide or arsenic as a wedding gift from now on. You know... something she can use later on. (funny quote, funny status)
_____I am not equipped to handle other people's tantrum ... I am too busy throwing my own! (top funny quote, funny status)
_____It was 2 years ago on this date when I did something, I think. (funny life quote, top funny quote)
_____I got my mind on my muffin and my muffin on my mind.
I know.. you're f**kin' shocked, right? ;p (funny quote, funny status, funny joke)

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