16 Funny Quotes

famous funny quotes

____Son, cleavage is like the Sun, you can see it but you cant stare at it. (hilarious funny quote, witty quote, witty status)
_____ the power of the lottery....it actually gives people hope... that is more powerful than the president. (funny president quote, funny daily quote, funny lottery quotes)
_____When you try the "pull my finger" joke with security agents at the airport, they pull the "this guy needs a full cavity search" joke. (funny security joke, funny status)
_____If any of you are stalking me, can you please tell me where I LEFT MY F**KING KEYS? (funny status, hilarious status)
_____One night does not a relationship make..so get out and stop talking about a connection. We connected last night, and the connection broke after the second coming. (funny Facebook status, witty status)
_____Here in Mississippi  we say “here in Mississippi” a lot (funny Mississippi quote)
_____Walks on the wrong side of the road just so i can see what hit me. (funny quote, Stupid funny quote, crazy funny quote)
_____The world needs dirty talking telemarketers. (funny telemarketer quote, joke)
_____What about a shoulder tattoo that says: 'legs go Here' (funny tattoo quote)
_____I once killed somebody with kindness. It was an accident, I swear! (funny quote, awesome funny quote)
_____This day has REALLY tested my patience, and when I say "tested my patience", what I'm trying to say is SOMEONE FIX ME A DRINK. (funny patience quote, funny drink quote joke)
_____Massage oils & candles may aid "the mood", but open flame & oil can also lead to burnt pubic hair which apparently kills "the mood" (funny massage quote, stupid funny status)
_____If this church service goes much longer, I'm totally shattering my Angry Birds record! (funny church quote, funny angry bird status)
_____I am not looking for queen of my heart right now, just a girl in clear heels who likes to do naughty things. (funny heart quote, funny love quote)
_____If you're looking for someone with absolutely nothing to offer, well....I'm your man. (funny quote, funny status)
_____Today the world's most hardest question came to my mind...Should I feel sorry for the people that know me or the people that don't? (best funny quote, funny world quote)

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